SUCK-CESS

The average 2009 salary for CEO’s of the Fortune 500 was $11.4 million. That is, if you take the salaries of the top 500 dogs of the top 500 companies, add them all together and divide by 500, you get $11.4 million dollars. Per CEO. Per year. And that one year was 2009 – a year when the United States economy was struggling with unemployment, foreclosures and bankruptcies. Oh yeah, and there’s this: Of the 500 top executives in the U.S., 12 of them are women. 488 men/12 women. (Source: Institute for Policy Studies)

Now, the average 2009 public school teacher salary was $52,000. Or, to look at it another way, the average CEO receives the equivalent of a public school teacher’s annual salary every day. $52,00o per day. Every day. And, according to the National Education Association, more than 75% of public school teachers are women.

Hmmmm.

Nor is this a diatribe against Wall Street moguls. The average salary of NBA players is $5.4 million. And that ain’t poop compared to popular singers and actors. Lady Gaga pulled down $62 million last year, Madonna: $58 million and Bruce Springsteen: $70 million.

Hmmmmm again.

Anyone who’s ever been a parent has probably heard his or her child ask, “Daddy, Mommy, are we rich?” And, of course, the kind and thoughtful parent will usually answer something like, “Well, sweetie, we’re not very rich in money; but we’re rich in love and happiness.” Good answer. But we know what the kid was asking.

She was asking, “Do we have more money than other people?” She was wanting to know if her family was financially successful and therefore more highly-regarded and prestigious than other families. She was wanting to know very possibly if she was going to spend her school days being looked down-on or up-to.

OK, OK, maybe that’s a little harsh. Maybe. But, one of our uber-obvious cultural values is this: Dollars=Success. Not love or peace of mind or happiness. Those are fine traits, indeed. But, in our culture, success means you don’t have to suck up.

Though we may turn up our socially-conscious noses and scoff at people who pull down ludicrously exorbitant salaries, we usually treat wealthy folks with deference. With high regard. With something almost approaching reverence. Admit it: you watch some celebrity slip out of their limo wearing the latest designer togs, and you snap their picture or try to get an autograph. Something in us wants to connect with these “successful” ones, hoping perhaps a little will rub off. “Money can’t buy happiness,” we might say, “but I’d rather cry in a Ferrari.”

One big honkin’ problem, of course, is what this definition of success does to our lives. It can drive us crazy. It can drive us to drink. Enter stress, heart attacks, stroke. Enter high blood pressure, insomnia, depression, suicide. Enter plummeting self-esteem, lack of confidence and depleted sense of worth. All, to large measure, because of how we define success.

OK, maybe we can’t change our species’ fascination with money; but we might be able to change our own characterization of success. And here’s a simple little formula that might help you turn the trick:
1) Look at something in your life that brings you joy.
2) Look at it again.
3) Say, “Hoooee! I’m a lucky schmuck.”
4) Say, “Thank you,” to something or someone.
5) Do a little kindness for someone just for the hell (or heaven) of it.

It may or may not make you feel successful; but it's a whole lot more fun than worrying about money.