Beer – Helping white men think they can dance since 1845.

Best-selling author, Tom Robbins, has just released a new children’s book entitled, “B is For Beer.” He describes this new opus as “a children’s book for grown-ups and a grown-up book for children – a far-reaching investigation into the limits of reality, the transformative powers of children, and, of course, the ultimate meaning of a tall, cold brewski.”

Senor Robbins – to his everlasting credit – has never sought the “Most Politically Correct” award. Nor does he make an attempt at religious, cultural or any other kind of correctness. He does have the knack, however, to remind his readers: 1) of the inherent yum and yuck in this life; 2) of infinite possibility; 3) of the never-ending advantage of not taking yourself too seriously.

Beer and kids together are a no-no in much of our U.S. culture, not to mention in the Bible-belt boonies. Q: You know why to always take two Baptists with you when you go fishing? A: If you only bring one, he’ll drink all your beer. In Europe, however, it’s a different story. European kids, as a general rule, grow up having a little beer with dinner. (In the U.K., for example, the legal drinking age is 4, as long as there is a responsible adult present.)

In truth, beer and kids are a lot alike. Both can make you crazy. Both can cost you money and cause you trouble. Both can smear a kooky smile across your face for no apparent reason. Both require responsibility. Both can remind you that there’s more going on in life than taxes, jobs, relationships and the extra 15 pounds of jiggle on your butt and gut.

Like beer, kids are frothy – bubbles of eagerness, enthusiasm and excitement about almost anything. Also, like the brew, they’ve often got a good head on them – a good head that is wisely more focused on play and pretend than on neatness and organization. Like the bubbly beverage, kids come in many varieties: light and dark, pale and stout, tart and smooth, rich and mild, cold and warm.

Both are great for picnics or anything outdoors. Both will encourage you to play, to dance, to laugh and above all, to enjoy the moment. With all their similarities, you could make a case for a correlation between our puritanical-tee-totaling tradition and the maxim, “children should be seen and not heard.”

OK, OK. This is not a diatribe to encourage you to drink more beer and have more babies (though there is certainly a keen relationship between the two); and there are many people who struggle with alcoholism and for whom any alcohol is poison. This is simply a suggestion that children – if allowed to be children – can provide the fizz and the fun, the joy and goofy delight as an antidote to lives that have been infected with the all-too-prevalent and dreaded disorder called “adultism.”

You know what adultism is, don’t you? It’s the malady that causes you to actually believe that facts are more important that imagination – labor, more vital than laughter – getting rich, more essential than getting candy – and magic (every kind of magic) is bogus. Beer and kids are, perhaps, the best medicine available for adultism.

Ben Franklin is quoted as saying, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” I say kids are proof as well; and can serve as a reminder that, as Tom Robbins says, “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” So, if you can’t have a beer, I heartily suggest that you spend some time with a child. It can get you dancing.